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I AM A FORMER MARINE AND FBI HOMELAND SECURITY ASSET. I AM LITERALLY ONE OF IF NOT THE MOST POWERFUL MEN IN THE WORLD! MY ANCESTOR, JOHN TURNER, CAME OVER ON THE MAYFLOWER. YOU CAN CHECK THE MANIFESTO FROM THE VOYAGE. I ALSO AM THE ONLY LIVING AMERICAN CITIZEN WHO WENT TO JAIL FOR HAVING AN OPINION. I AM THE ONLY PERSON ON THE PLANET GIVING YOU THE REAL TRUTH EVERY NIGHT ON MY WEBSITE AND EVERY WEEK ON MY SHOW. NOW MY SHOW HAS MORE LISTENERS THAN EVER, BUT I STILL NEED YOUR HELP! SEND AS MUCH MONEY AS YOU CAN AS SOON AS YOU CAN! THE BIGGEST DONATION GETS A HUGE PRIZE! DON'T DELAY! SUPPORT ME, THE MOST IMPORTANT HUMAN BEING ON THE PLANET! *NM*

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