Interesting, but I cannot help but imagine that Hitchens would be appalled. As a writer, he strove always for rigor and clarity, and thus would have rejected all of these suggestions as obfuscatory and cowardly euphemisms. As a thinker he likewise prized clarity in service of the search for truth. Dead is dead. Let us say so and embrace the reality of human existence.
But I recognize the humor and good cheer in these suggestions, so let me not be too crotchety about it. Thank you for the kind words. Readers like you have made this blog work these past two and a-half years.